Requiem for a Raven
by Zoe Rose
Summary: The title should explain it all. One shot. R&R and enjoy.


A/N This fic may come off as weird, but I have major insomnia right now, (and _minor_ but frustrating writer's block on my other stories) and I dunno, it might be because I'm listening to Mozart's "Requiem" right now or my strange little mind, but this idea popped in my head and I have to get it out of my system. This is a one shot, but as sometimes happens, I may write more if you reader's so wish and/or if the inspiration comes, though if I write more it won't be for a while. Note to self: Finish other stories!!!! Anyway, enjoy, and remember this was written at like 3:00 in the morning so forgive me if this makes no sense. It makes sense to me, but then again I wrote it. :)

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I feel numb. No, that's not it. I feel... truthfully I don't know how I feel. I watch my friends, their expressions unreadable, their eyes dry, yet grief stricken as they enter the building. It is a lovely building. Simple, but lovely. I imagine I would love it if I knew how to feel. But I don't, not right now. I am too... for lack of a better word... I am too numb.

Silently, solemnly I follow my friends inside, casting a quick glance at the sign. "Public Funeral Service for Raven Roth, beloved friend and faithful Titan." I sigh at the irony. Strange choice of words for someone who in the end was a traitor, for someone whose death was a blessing to everyone.

As I follow my friends in deep silence I notice the expressions on the faces of all who are present. I secretly wonder how many are here to mourn, how many are here to pay their respects to a girl they never knew, how many are here to remember, and how many are there for the refreshments following the service. I guess that really doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Not anymore.

Looking at the flowers that decorate the large but simple chapel I think they are quite pretty. They display a fittingly dark but lovely and simple décor to respect the dearly departed. I like it. I am strangely impressed. Though the choice of a chapel strikes me as odd.

Looking to my left I catch a glimpse of the viewing room. Through the line of mourners and funeral crashers I see a shiny ebony casket. Black is such an appropriate colour. I never understood why people wanted to look at the corpse at a funeral. Was it to say good-bye one last time? If that's so, it makes no sense. The dead are dead. Gone forever to their eternal home, wherever that may be. It is too late to say good-bye, they are only saying it to a body, a corpse that will soon be rotting underground. They are better off saying their good-byes as a prayer, I imagine that would be more fulfilling and provide the most peace.

Perhaps people look at the body to ease the grief and fill them with a comforting lie, to give them false closure. _She looks like she's sleeping. Now she is at rest._ I imagine people may be saying. Maybe that provides the living with some morbid, cold comfort, but really they do not know. Perhaps some lined up just so they could have the grim satisfaction of seeing a dead body, to remind them how good it is to be alive. I don't know the reason, nor do I think I'll ever know, nor do I care. It is just a body. A temporary vessel.

The service begins in prayer. It is lovely and fitting I suppose. As is the music-- solemn, mournful, peaceful... A soft, serene, soprano sings _Pie Jesu_. It is such a lovely song; I'm glad that they chose it.

I am suddenly stricken with how funny death is. It really is a funny thing. Death was, is and always will be triumphant. Death is something men fear, something just about everyone tries to avoid. People pay thousands of dollars to prolong their life, to cheat death, but really everyone dies in the end. It is the only thing in life that is certain. Well, that and taxes.

Robin stands up, his hand is trembling as he reaches for a piece of paper in his pocket. I find it very fitting that as our leader, he was chosen to give the eulogy. Starfire sniffs, holding his hand. As he steps forward to the pulpit she reluctantly releases her grip. She bows her head, stricken by a pang of sudden grief. I feel bad for her. Out of everyone, this must be the hardest for her. I would comfort her, but I don't know how I possibly could. Cyborg puts his colossal arm around her and she closes her eyes, tears escape her emerald eyes. I can tell she finds no comfort in his embrace, but she accepts it gratefully.

Clearing his throat Robin speaks. I listen without feeling. I don't know how to feel. How should I feel at a time like this?

"Raven was a valued member of the Titans. I remember long ago when our paths crossed for the first time. I was still Batman's apprentice, and silently she had followed us for some time. I remember I had thought she was a crazed stalker. I sometimes noticed her hiding in the shadows, much like I was trained to do. She was an expert at stealth, but at some point, Batman and I both noticed her, following us, watching us from a distance. Truth be told, this young girl frightened me at first. Was she a friend? Was she a villain? It would be a while before I knew the truth about where her loyalties lie..."

The ambiguity of the statement is shocking to me. Friend or foe? Which is it Robin, I want to know. What do you think, now that all is said and done? What do _you_ think is the truth?

"I remember the day she first spoke to me. I don't remember exactly what she had to say but she spoke so bluntly, yet her expression was so calm and controlled and sincere. I managed to remain cool but I remember deep down I was terrified," Robin pauses to reflect on his words. He smiles slightly, "I don't remember what she said exactly, but it was because of her that I am who I am today. I remember she told me one day an enemy greater than her or I would come..." he pauses, I imagine he is taking the time to remember that that day had come and gone and to remember that final battle with Trigon, that deadly battle that brought us here today. He sighs regretfully and continues, "She told me that I was ready to take my place in the world and encouraged me to form a team of young superpowered heroes like us to prepare and to defend the defenceless. A short time later, the Teen Titans was born. Raven was always..."

I inexplicably tune out most of Robin's eulogy, oddly enough, I would think I would like to hear of all Robin had to say. Once in a while I catch a word or two, but I suddenly find myself distant in my own world of grief and numbness to pay much attention even though a huge part of me wants to listen. Some things that I hear I agree with, some I don't, but it doesn't really matter I guess.

Grief. There's a word. Sure, many people here are in grief, but I don't really understand why. No one really knew the real Raven. Most of these people I never met. How could anyone grieve someone they don't know? I guess it falls back to humankind's morbid, often denied, obsession with death. _She was so young. How tragic._ _Glad it wasn't me._ I myself feel grief, I suppose, though it is different than everyone here. I am surprised how little grief I really do feel. I think I should be sad, I think I should be angry and bitter, but I'm not. My grief is not for the girl in the casket, for she is nothing but a body, an empty vessel left without a soul. No, I grieve for the people in this room.

I never understood why people would weep for the dead. I did not understand why people couldn't rejoice and celebrate their memory. They are gone. Their journey had come to an end, why couldn't people be glad? I guess in a way I understand. The dead cannot return. Ever. They are gone. Forever. Now I understand though why there is such mourning. The weeping is not for the dead, but for the living, though they do not realize it.

As the service draws to a close there are no tears, though there is weeping. Deep down there is weeping. It is the numb silence among my friends that bothers me the most. I hate to see them this way. I hate that their expressions, their emotions are so unreadable right now. I follow silently as we reach the cemetery for the private burial ceremony. As the preacher says his final prayer, everyone remains expressionless and dry-eyed. It is not until the casket is lowered into the ground that the tears begin to flow.

One by one my friends drop a rose into the ground, onto the ebony coffin. They each have something to say, they speak so softly, it is almost impossible to understand what they are saying. But somehow I hear them loud and clear.

Robin is first. His shoulders shake as though trying to hold back tears as he speaks, though the tears come anyway, "I wish there was another way. I'm going to miss you Raven. The team will never be the same, not without you. You were important to us you know. I know that even at the very end, deep down you were still good. I don't know if there is a God, or a Heaven, but I hope that if there is, you are there and that you've found your eternal resting place." He ceremoniously tosses a rose into the open grave.

Next is Cyborg. He is the only one who is not crying, yet it is clear that it is difficult for him to remain strong. Even before he speaks, it is obvious that he is angry and grief-stricken. "This was my fault Raven. I should've been there. If only I had made sure that stupid demon was dead the first time, then this would've never happened. He would've never taken over your mind and it would've never come to this. Why couldn't you have told us Raven? If you would've only told us he was back, maybe you would still be here. No... you did try to tell us, didn't you? Man, I should've listened. I mean, I should've known. I'm gonna miss you, you know that?" he pauses, "Good-bye Raven," he mumbles quickly, as though he was afraid that if he said anything else he'd lose it. He solemnly takes his place next to Robin, his giant metal hands clenched in fists, his human eye sparkling with a repressed tear.

"Raven, I just wanted to say that I... I loved you. You were one of the best friends I ever had, y'know? You meant so much to me. If I could go back in time, I would find a way to save you, even if it meant going back into your mind and fighting that stupid demon myself. Dude, I don't care if I died or if I was trapped there forever, if it meant saving you... It would've been worth it. It was that demon we should've fought. Not you. I'm sorry. I feel like I betrayed you for not figuring it out sooner what we should've done. I miss you so much I..." Beast Boy can't finish, he is struck dumb with grief. He tosses the rose almost carelessly and takes his place next to Cyborg, bowing his head as though in silent prayer.

Starfire is the last to throw her rose onto the casket. Poor Starfire. Poor gentle Starfire, the one who must forever bear the burden of being the one who dealt the fatal blow. It wasn't her fault. She had no choice. Starfire only did what she had to do to protect herself and the others. "I am so sorry Raven. I do not know if you can hear me, but please find it in your heart to forgive me. Rest in peace my dearest friend."

Do not weep for me my friends. My soul is no longer imprisoned in a corrupted body conceived by darkness. I wish there was a way I could tell you, comfort you, and assure you that while I am not at rest, I am finally at peace. I am watching over you, and I love you with all my heart. But please, somehow please understand that by destroying me, you have set me free.

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Time for more A/N goodness! (and all the people: choose one a) rejoiced, b) groaned c) skipped said author's note d) all of the above) Well, I hope you don't all perceive me as being morbid, I think about a lot of random things when I can't sleep. Anyway, I hope it wasn't obvious as to whose POV this was until the end. And I hope you all enjoyed. Please take the time to review and if you can, though this was in no way one of my better and more planned out fics (it was very impromptu: the scattered thoughts and insights of a sleep deprived individual), please leave some CC, it's greatly appreciated. Thanks


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